I often start a sentence with, this is just a poor man’s version of… or their old stuff shits on this.
When I started a lecture (to nobody) about the rubbish on the radio the other day it prompted my loving wife to ask if I think I am smarter than everybody else. Despite painful and repeated failures to be brilliant, I do constantly suffer from a feeling of superiority.
If I critically look at the situation I know I am like Homer Simpson when he opined “Everybody is stupid except me”. Deep down I should know I must be missing something but for that brief second, yes I do feel smarter than everybody else.
I also get the same superior feeling when I don’t know something that, in my opinion, is stupid and irrelevant. That’s right, I think I am actually smarter by being ignorant of trashy mags, boy bands and reality TV. If anybody cared to ask if I’ve heard the latest on Justin Beiber, the answer is no and I instantly downgrade my estimate of the questioners intelligence.
I am proud to have no knowledge about huge chunks of popular culture despite the huge gap it leaves in my polite socialising knowledge, a handicap I wear as a big arrogant badge of honour. I don’t watch My Kitchen Rules so lack one of the common topics to talk about at the water cooler not that I even know anybody that talks by a water cooler but you get the idea. Despite that fact that being able to quote a Cardashian is of more practical value in most circles than knowing Monster Magnet lyrics, I wear my lack of Caradshian exposure as a sign of my intelligence. I was proud to have been unaware of the Cardashian’s for a hell of a long time and am now mildly ashamed to not only be aware of their existence but the fact I know the chief Cardashian had a kid with Kanye West and called it North. So while I will hide the fact I have no working knowledge of Aristotle’s musings at the same time I pretend to be ignorant of the musings of Woman’s Weekly if they’ve somehow found a nest in my memory.
I’m sure referencing the Simpsons causes the same feeling of superiority in others that I get when somebody mentions the Beiber, but, I also have a perverse feeling of being better than people when they look down their nose at me. I do think I am right to sneer at Beiber fans but anyone looking down at me is a loser in my mind, dismissing the Simpsons and quoting Oscar Wilde or Shakespeare leaves me far from impressed, it just makes me think the non-Simpson fan is a king tosspot (or queen tosspot, I’m not a chauvinist). When people insist quinoa is pronounced kinwa when I’ve called it kwin-owa, I feel just like a midget with mad MMA skills being pushed by an unco oversized bully eg. I know they think they are looking down at me, but really I am looking down at them; metaphorically, we are not looking at each other shoes.
Constantly referencing Seinfeld/Simpsons will have me viewed as a dinosaur in some circles and an object of scorn in others. Having no knowledge of the last two Hottest 100 winners would make me an out of touch fossil in certain circles eg. people like I was 10 years ago . The fact that I know everything about every artist in the ’95 Hot 100 is now largely irrelevant*. When somebody does want to be nostalgic about the 90’s my knowledge of the topic brings arrogance to the fore even more quickly eg. Limp Bizkit combined the worst rap styling with embarrassing metal to be a stain on a whole genre of music, Rage Against the Machine should sue the oversized pants off them. When I corner a flat cap wearing Gen Y’er or a pontificating Baby Boomer I’m not afraid to let them know about the genius of popular culture in my day.
So; you looking down on me makes you a tosser and; You liking the things I look down on makes you a tosser, and in both cases has me feeling smarter than you. Which means ultimately, excluding the wimps sooking it up, everybody is either in agreement with or feeling superior to everybody else which is a great recipe for self-esteem.
Why is everybody else so stupid? Because they have stuck their cultural markers in a different bit of sand to me, joined a different tribe and I need to stand up for mine. I have only recently realised I’m now getting left behind in popular culture trends so am increasingly harking back to the age old trick of the ageing by claiming that (undercuts aside) me and my tribe were and are awesome.
The truly supple minds can find depth and purpose in new movements, there is always crap but there is no doubt good stuff to find. I have slipped and find it easier to just not get it, happy in the fact I am smarter than everybody else. Providing I don’t think about it too much I am happily unaware that I am missing something, until now…thanks Julia, I did think I was smarter than everybody else at the start of this and now don’t; of course next time I turn on the radio that warm glow of being better will return. What is wrong with music these days?
*Until retro rock quizzes catch up with me when I’m 40.
